Events.

When you live abroad, something that you miss out on a lot are the big family events. The life events. The birthdays, graduations, anniversaries. You won't be able to attend your aunt's birthday party, your cousin's graduation, your grandparents 48th anniversary party; because you are on the other side of the world. It is hard. You feel left out, left out of your own family. They are having fun, catching up, creating memories, whilst you are in a foreign country.

My parents used to always say; "we'll catch on everything when we see them again". But how do you catch up on a years worth of events in one day? The moment has passed, you won't get it back. Still, those "special" days when we did see family and caught up on all these events were always fun. We did something special, and created memories that way. It's not the same, but it's something.

You need to let your family know you care. Some people can misinterpret not being there with not caring. I know that personally, I have family members that are offended when we do not attend their life events. They know that we live far away, that getting a flight for one party is simply not doable. But still, they make us feel guilty. This is something that you have to deal with (or, if you have the perfect family, maybe you don't). So instead of being there in person, make sure you give them a call on the day. Send them flowers, a card. Make them remember that you do care, and that you wish that you could be there.

Today is my Dad's birthday. My family is in Singapore while I am here. It was hard today, because I would have done anything to be there. I know they had a great day, and that tomorrow I will have to hear about how great it was. I know that they all wish I was there, and that my Dad knows I really want to be there. And as I told him this morning in my birthday email to him; “we'll catch up on it when I see you!”