Monday, February 24, 2014

Too far away.

I have talked before about how a downside of being a TCK is being away for family events in your home country. This blog post deals with this issue, but with a more serious example.

My grandmother was admitted to hospital over 5 weeks ago, and just got to go back home. During the 5 weeks, I was not able to visit her in the hospital, I was not able to comfort her in the way I wish I could have. I called her, and we got reports on her health from family members.

My mother went on a short weekend trip to The Netherlands, after my grandmother had been in the hospital for more than 2 weeks. It was a 12 hour flight there, and 2 days later, a 12 hour flight back to Singapore. It was however exactly what was needed; for both my grandmother and my mother. For my grandmother is was the emotional support she needed, and for my mother it was able to show that no matter how far away she lives, family always comes first.

It saddened me when I heard that my cousins saw my grandmother in the hospital on a regular basis; they had coffee with her, made small talk, made her feel comfortable. While I would have loved to visit my grandmother in the hospital, it was not feasible on my part. Of course, if the medical situation would have worsened to a critical point, I would have jumped on the first plane to Amsterdam. Luckily, it did not get to this point, but it is nice to know that I have to opportunity to do so.

One of the things you give up as a expat/TCK is being close to family. It will be harder to lend a helping hand when they need you, harder to comfort them when they are going through a rough time. Luckily, there are ways to get around these difficulties. You can have long Skype chats to lend emotional support; you might not be able to give them a hug, but you can still be there for them. And if you really need to be there in person, there are airplanes. So don't lose hope, because for every problem there is a solution; the solution might just be a bit more complicated for a TCK.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Dutch?

This is my first post again in a long time, mainly because of hectic University exam times and before that, the holidays. But I am back, and will be posting regularly again!

I have started a new module for my Journalism course this semester, and it is called "Global Journalism". In today's seminar, we were talking about whether we feel like a global citizen, and whether we live in a global society. Stemming from this discussion, one of my classmates asked me if I identified as a global citizen, or as Dutch. For most people in my class, such a question was easy to answer. They felt British, or Welsh, or English. For me however, it got me thinking, and I wasn't able to give a clear answer.

When people ask me where I am from, I say that I am Dutch. This is because I hold a Dutch passport, I was born in The Netherlands, and I have family living in The Netherlands. However, when I think about it, I don't know how Dutch I really feel. Sure, on Dutch national day I feel very patriotic, and when the Dutch team reached the last FIFA World Cup final, I was proudly cheering for them. However, I am not invested in Dutch politics, my knowledge of Dutch history is not up to par, and my Dutch language isn't the best. Do these things make me less Dutch?

I think a large aspect of feeling Dutch would be if I were to call The Netherlands home, which I do not. I talked about this in a previous post. I lived in China for the same length of time that I lived in The Netherlands, and thus have a deep connection to that country. I went through an intense High School diploma program in Vietnam (Hanoi), and graduated from there, and thus feel a part of that country as well. And right now my family lives in Singapore, and I call that my home now as well, and so that is yet another country that I feel a part of.

So do I feel Dutch? No, not really. I suppose you could say that I feel like a "global citizen", but that would imply that I feel like I belong to all countries of the world, and I don't really feel like that. So what do I feel like? I feel Dutch/Chinese/Vietnamese/Singaporean. These countries all have a very dear place in my heart, and they have all had influences on the person that I am today.