Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Bad day.

Everyone has bad days. Maybe something happens in school, at work, with friends, with family. Maybe you just wake up in a bad mood. Yesterday, I had a bad day. It started off with something small, but quickly turned into a vicious cycle causing me to be homesick. For most of my friends, if they are homesick, they can catch the first train back home and be there in 2 hours or less. I envy this sometimes. Yesterday, all I wanted was to talk to my mom in person, for her to hug me, for her to take care of me so I felt a bit better. As a TCK, when you go to University, this is a big struggle. You need to learn to comfort yourself, or to trust others to help you through a bad day.

I feel much better today, and so thought about how I felt yesterday, and how I handled it. I felt sorry for myself, felt like my life was so unfair compared to that of my fellow University peers. I didn't see the point of being at University so far away from home. Now, with a clearer mind, I can see that I was of course overreacting. In fact, what I am learning through these bad days is a valuable life lesson. I am learning to take care of myself, to be by myself. By this, I don't mean that I am preparing myself for a life of always being alone, because I do not have that intention. What I mean is, I am learning to fend for myself, to cater to my emotions myself. I am also learning to trust the right people to talk to when I have a bad day. You need to find friends that you trust to talk to, that make you feel a bit better. For me, these friends are like a family away from home, they mean a lot to me. Without them, I really would be completely alone.

I know that not only TCK's go through this homesickness at University (or at any point in life, for that matter). Many people suffer from homesickness, the difference is, what one can do about it. Like I said, there is no possibility for me to go home right now, and so I have to suck it up and get through it. It is not fun, but it gets easier, and I know that it is preparing me to be a strong person. If you are a fellow TCK going through this, just know that there are many of us out there. And keep in mind, feeling sorry for yourself and crying about it is not bad once in a while; just don't let it take over your life. Because while being a TCK has some downsides like this, there are many more upsides.

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