Home.

There are so many things I could talk about in regard to being a TCK, that I am having trouble finding a starting point. After much deliberating, I decided to go with the topic of 'home'. For most, 'home' is one place, and has always been that one place. For a TCK it is much different. Personally, what I call 'home' varies, and often I feel like I have more than one 'home'. At the moment, Cardiff is home, but at the same time so is Hanoi. For Easter break I am going 'home'; I am going to Hanoi. Why is Hanoi home? I suppose it is because my parents and brother still live there, and because it is where I lived for the past 2 years. While I have now lived in Cardiff for over 5 months, I still feel like I cannot commit to it fully. I suppose I never really feel like I can commit to one place as being 'home', as I always end up leaving it, or if I don't, then my close friends do, people I care about, and 'home' is disrupted. So I have a backup 'home', a place where I know my family will be to catch me if I fall, to help me through the hard times, life a safe haven.

By now, you probably think I have serious commitment issues regarding places, and I do, but there is a flip side. Since my sense of 'home' is constantly changing, the meaning of the word has changed. According to the dictionary, 'home' is:

"The place in which one's domestic affections are centered"

For most, this is exactly what they mean by 'home'. For me; however, this definition of 'home' applies less and less with every move. A sense of 'home' is not so special anymore, and thus I use the word very loosely. When on holiday, my hotel room is 'home'. This is not because I do not know the proper usage of the word 'home', it is because I do truly feel that for that one week holiday, my hotel room is my 'home'. I take my sense of 'home' with me wherever I go, my 'home' is mobile. I think that this is unique to TCK's, as we have had to carry 'home' with us, as whenever we settle in a new place, we always know that we will be moving sooner or later, and that 'home' will have to come with us again. I envy people that truly treasure their 'home', that have had the same 'home' all their life, because the term is still so special.

Now, I am not attempting to write a sob story and have people feel sorry for me. Yes, there are a lot of downsides to being a TCK, this being one of them. Yet there are so many positive outcomes that being a TCK has, things that I will explore in following blog posts. I'm looking to create a balance through my blog, because being a TCK is not all good, but not all bad either, just like almost everything else out there.

Third Culture What?

It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I found out I was a Third Culture Kid (often referred to a TCK). What is a TCK you might ask? I did some research myself and found the following definition which seems to sum it up perfectly:

"A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background." (David C. Pollock, 2009)

Now, there are several elements of this definition that relate to me. First off, I moved to China when I was 7 years old, so still very much in my developmental years. After living in Shanghai for nearly 6 years, I moved to Beijing. After living there for 3 years, I moved to Hanoi, which is where I spent the last two years of my childhood. So where am I from? I am Dutch, but to be honest, I don't feel all that Dutch. Next is the aspect of building relationships to all cultures, but not really owning any of them fully. I must say, I still have a very strong connection to China, and I often refer to it as home. Vietnam is next in line, as that is where my family lives at the moment, so it is very much a part of me. Lastly is the Netherlands. While I do carry a Dutch passport and my extended family all live in the Netherlands, I really don't feel like I am all that Dutch. I think there are numerous reason for this, which I will examine more in a up coming post. And lastly, the feeling of belonging with people of a similar background is very familiar. My best friends are all TCK's as well. We understand each other and experience the same difficulties. 

Through this blog, I want to create a space for other TCK's to share similar experiences to mine, while at the same time trying to explain to non-TCK's what it is really like being a TCK. I will talk about topics like school, friends, family as a TCK, but also issues like homesickness, what is "home", and a sense of belonging. My no means are my posts only relatable to TCK's, they touch topics that everyone experiences. So please stick around for more, I will try post as regularly as I can!