tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40775821257767095722024-02-08T07:22:11.347-08:00Third Culture What?A blog exploring what it is truly like being a Third Culture Kid (TCK)Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-7875925321368401682014-05-07T05:12:00.001-07:002014-05-07T05:12:43.949-07:00Books. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Give me a minute while I blow the dust off my blog. It has been over a month since I have written a post, and I have no valid excuse. I was visiting family, traveling, and writing University essays. In my month of absence I did however gain a lot of inspiration, so keep a look out for some exciting posts coming up!<br />
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For today, just a quick post about something that intrigued me. The other day, I was looking through my University library for some books for my essay, and I came across a book titled: "Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among World" by David C. Pollock and Ruth van Reken. It stopped me in my tracks, and I couldn't help but have a quick look through. I was a book filled with information about Third Culture Kids, talking about the effects being a TCK has on the person, talking about how we are different from other kids, and it uses real life examples.<br />
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This might sound strange, but the book really surprised me. Not it's content, but the fact that the book exists at all. And after a quick Google search, I found out this is not the only book on Third Culture Kids; it is one of many. To me, being a TCK is just part of who I am, it is how I was brought up, and how a majority of my friends were brought up. I always knew it was not exactly normal to be a TCK, but I never thought someone, or several people, would write books about it which appear in University libraries. It makes me think that I am missing something important about my TCK-ness, that there is something about me that I don't know about yet.<br />
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Needless to say, I will be reading this book as soon as I get some free time. I might also write a detailed post about it once I've finished it, do people want to read that? Let me know!<br />
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Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-12203429065964369812014-04-01T04:40:00.001-07:002014-04-01T04:41:34.454-07:0010 things I love about being a TCK.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">1. <b>Multiple 'homes'.</b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">As a TCK,
you don't feel at home in just one place. You have created 'homes' in
numerous countries, and each of those countries holds a dear place in your
heart. And even though you have had to leave those homes, you can always
go back. And you know that when you go back, you will feel instantly at
home again. </span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">2. <b>Expat community.</b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b>Wherever
you go, there will be an expat community. A community of people that have,
just like you, moved around multiple times. Usually, you have an instant
connection with these people. You can compare the places you have lived
(and see who has lived in the most exotic place!) and trade stories about
culture shock. Getting involved with the expat community of a new place
you have moved to is the easiest way to create new friendships and get
advice on your new home. </span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">3. <b>Friends all around the world. </b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Taking a
trip somewhere? Surely you have a friend that lives<b> </b>there, and that
will let you sleep on their couch. Maybe they'll even act as a your tour
guide for a day. This is the good thing about friends you meet at
International School constantly moving around, you have friends in the
most unique places. Take note though; you will have to return the favour! </span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">4. <b>Travel opportunities. </b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I have
always associated being a TCK with traveling. I know this is not
necessarily the case for all TCK's, but in the expat communities I grew up
in, everyone seemed to be world travellers. My parents' logic was that if
you lived in a new place, you needed to explore it and its neighbouring
countries. Luckily for us, they always took my brother and I along, and
some of my best memories are from traveling to new places! <b> </b></span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">5. <b>Adaptability. </b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">As a TCK
you have to learn to adapt. You have to adapt to a new culture, a new
language, new people, and a new school. You quickly learn how to adapt
fast and effectively. I have recently come to realize that this is not
only a useful skill for moving around, but also for various other
day-to-day things. As a TCK you learn this skill early on, and you will be
eternally grateful for it. </span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">6. <b>Close family bond. </b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">As I have
mentioned before on this blog, the more you move around with your family,
the closer you get. You go through hard times together, and that bring you
close as a family.<b> </b>They become your primary support system, and you
know they will also be there to lean on when needed. </span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">7. <b>Multilingual. </b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Most TCK's
pick up the language of the country they live in whilst living there. Even
better, TCK's are usually kids when they learn these languages, and they
thus pick them up twice as fast and they are stored in their memory
forever. </span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">8. <b>Thick skin. </b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The whole
process of leaving your friends and familiar environment behind<b> </b>to
move somewhere new is hard. So when you have gone through this process
multiple times by the age of 18, you develop a thick skin towards feelings
of sadness, anger, and loneliness. This is not to say you don't feel these
things at all anymore, but you certainly know how to deal with them
better. </span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">9. <b>International schools. </b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b>If you
look at my last blog post you will know; International Schools are pretty
cool. Yes, they are over the top and ridiculously expensive, but the
experience you gain from attending one is priceless. </span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">10. <b>Unique. </b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Whether
you like it or not, being a TCK is pretty unique. There are not too many
of us, and often, people find us pretty interesting. This might not always
feel like a good thing (personally, I don't like the attention) but you
should not take it for granted. Embrace your TCK-ness! </span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-62306973446102588482014-03-09T05:27:00.000-07:002014-03-09T05:27:00.319-07:00International schools. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Most TCK's will have had the experience of going to an international school. I went to one from the age of 7 till I graduated High School, so to me, it seemed fairly normal. The older I got I of course realized that the facilities my school had, the trips we took, the guest speakers we had were a bit out of the ordinary. But everyone in my environment went to an international school, so it really was not all that strange.<br />
<br />
The other day, I was talking about school fees with one of my friends, and I decided to check how much the annual fee was for one of the international schools I attended. I always knew it was expensive, but I had never really looked properly. It was more than 22,000 USD. This is excluding school transport, sport competition trips, and other add-ons. This is more then double the university fees that I am paying now.<br />
<br />
I think it is fair to point out that you don't have too much choice as an expat regarding your child's education; usually there is a minimal number of international schools (all asking the same ridiculous fees), and sending your child to a public school is not always a option, especially when they do not speak the local language. Fortunately for my parents, and I know this was the case for numerous peers, their expat contract included their child's education fee, and thus they did not have to pay from their own pockets. <br />
<br />
So, is it worth it? This is hard to say. I had some amazing experiences in my school years. Week long school trips to places all over China and Vietnam. Football trips to Thailand, Vietnam, China, Cambodia. Inspirational guest speakers like Ban Ki Moon and Joan Baez. My school in Beijing was an Olympic Educational Model School, and so we had Olympic athletes use the school facilities to train and I got to seem Paralympic events with my class. I had numerous opportunities to work for some amazing charities through school.<br />
<br />
This is not meant to come off as bragging. I am trying to point out that you do get an amazing education for the high price you pay. But this is not to say that people who do not pay such high fees get a bad education. I think it is hard to compare the education I had to the education my friends in public schools had. In an expat community, attending a international school is the norm. In a normal environment, attending a public school is the norm. For some reason, the norm in an expat community is of a much higher, some might say ridiculous, level. Would I have benefited from going to a public school? Yes, I think that by going to a public school, I would have had a more realistic outlook on how the world functions at a younger age. I would have realized that not all people have a lot of money, not all people can go on numerous vacations a year, and not all people live in fancy compounds. While my parents always made sure that I realized how lucky I was with the life I was given, I was still always around people who were equally as lucky.<br />
<br />
Having said all this, I am very grateful that I was able to attend an international school. I think the type of education it provided taught me many valuable lessons, and while it might have been unrealistic at times, I am now fully aware of how lucky I was, and still am. Did you attend an international school, or do your kids attend one? If so, let me know what your thoughts are. </div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-89614447985686728312014-02-24T15:24:00.001-08:002014-02-24T15:24:52.678-08:00Too far away.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have talked before about how a downside of being a TCK is being away for family events in your home country. This blog post deals with this issue, but with a more serious example. <br />
<br />
My grandmother was admitted to hospital over 5 weeks ago, and just got to go back home. During the 5 weeks, I was not able to visit her in the hospital, I was not able to comfort her in the way I wish I could have. I called her, and we got reports on her health from family members.<br />
<br />
My mother went on a short weekend trip to The Netherlands, after my grandmother had been in the hospital for more than 2 weeks. It was a 12 hour flight there, and 2 days later, a 12 hour flight back to Singapore. It was however exactly what was needed; for both my grandmother and my mother. For my grandmother is was the emotional support she needed, and for my mother it was able to show that no matter how far away she lives, family always comes first.<br />
<br />
It saddened me when I heard that my cousins saw my grandmother in the hospital on a regular basis; they had coffee with her, made small talk, made her feel comfortable. While I would have loved to visit my grandmother in the hospital, it was not feasible on my part. Of course, if the medical situation would have worsened to a critical point, I would have jumped on the first plane to Amsterdam. Luckily, it did not get to this point, but it is nice to know that I have to opportunity to do so. <br />
<br />
One of the things you give up as a expat/TCK is being close to family. It will be harder to lend a helping hand when they need you, harder to comfort them when they are going through a rough time. Luckily, there are ways to get around these difficulties. You can have long Skype chats to lend emotional support; you might not be able to give them a hug, but you can still be there for them. And if you really need to be there in person, there are airplanes. So don't lose hope, because for every problem there is a solution; the solution might just be a bit more complicated for a TCK.</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-81687514854238885312014-02-03T14:05:00.001-08:002014-02-03T14:05:09.665-08:00Dutch?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This is my first post again in a long time, mainly because of hectic
University exam times and before that, the holidays. But I am back, and will be
posting regularly again!<br />
<br />
I have started a new module for my Journalism course this semester, and it
is called "Global Journalism". In today's seminar, we were talking
about whether we feel like a global citizen, and whether we live in a global
society. Stemming from this discussion, one of my classmates asked me if I
identified as a global citizen, or as Dutch. For most people in my class, such
a question was easy to answer. They felt British, or Welsh, or English. For me
however, it got me thinking, and I wasn't able to give a clear answer.<br />
<br />
When people ask me where I am from, I say that I am Dutch. This is because I
hold a Dutch passport, I was born in The Netherlands, and I have family living
in The Netherlands. However, when I think about it, I don't know how Dutch I
really feel. Sure, on Dutch national day I feel very patriotic, and when the
Dutch team reached the last FIFA World Cup final, I was proudly cheering for
them. However, I am not invested in Dutch politics, my knowledge of Dutch
history is not up to par, and my Dutch language isn't the best. Do these things
make me less Dutch?<br />
<br />
I think a large aspect of feeling Dutch would be if I were to call The
Netherlands home, which I do not. I talked about this in a previous <a href="http://thirdculturewhat.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/home.html">post</a>. I
lived in China for the same length of time that I lived in The Netherlands, and
thus have a deep connection to that country. I went through an intense High
School diploma program in Vietnam (Hanoi), and graduated from there, and thus
feel a part of that country as well. And right now my family lives in
Singapore, and I call that my home now as well, and so that is yet another
country that I feel a part of.<br />
<br />
So do I feel Dutch? No, not really. I suppose you could say that I feel like
a "global citizen", but that would imply that I feel like I belong to
all countries of the world, and I don't really feel like that. So what do I
feel like? I feel Dutch/Chinese/Vietnamese/Singaporean. These countries all have
a very dear place in my heart, and they have all had influences on the person
that I am today. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-71897787275430830352013-10-26T03:59:00.000-07:002013-10-26T03:59:58.296-07:00Events. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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When you live abroad, something that you miss out on a lot are the big
family events. The life events. The birthdays, graduations, anniversaries. You
won't be able to attend your aunt's birthday party, your cousin's graduation,
your grandparents 48th anniversary party; because you are on the other side of
the world. It is hard. You feel left out, left out of your own family. They are
having fun, catching up, creating memories, whilst you are in a foreign
country.<br />
<br />
My parents used to always say; "we'll catch on everything when we see
them again". But how do you catch up on a years worth of events in one
day? The moment has passed, you won't get it back. Still, those
"special" days when we did see family and caught up on all these
events were always fun. We did something special, and created memories that
way. It's not the same, but it's something.<br />
<br />
You need to let your family know you care. Some people can misinterpret not
being there with not caring. I know that personally, I have family members that
are offended when we do not attend their life events. They know that we live
far away, that getting a flight for one party is simply not doable. But still,
they make us feel guilty. This is something that you have to deal with (or, if
you have the perfect family, maybe you don't). So instead of being there in
person, make sure you give them a call on the day. Send them flowers, a card.
Make them remember that you do care, and that you wish that you could be there.<br />
<br />
Today is my Dad's birthday. My family is in Singapore while I am here. It
was hard today, because I would have done anything to be there. I know they had
a great day, and that tomorrow I will have to hear about how great it was. I
know that they all wish I was there, and that my Dad knows I really want to be
there. And as I told him this morning in my birthday email to him; “we'll catch
up on it when I see you!”<br />
</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-55167262153091216762013-10-16T04:14:00.001-07:002013-10-16T04:14:49.826-07:00Bad day.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Everyone has bad days. Maybe something happens in school, at work, with
friends, with family. Maybe you just wake up in a bad mood. Yesterday, I had a
bad day. It started off with something small, but quickly turned into a vicious
cycle causing me to be homesick. For most of my friends, if they are homesick,
they can catch the first train back home and be there in 2 hours or less. I
envy this sometimes. Yesterday, all I wanted was to talk to my mom in person,
for her to hug me, for her to take care of me so I felt a bit better. As a TCK,
when you go to University, this is a big struggle. You need to learn to comfort
yourself, or to trust others to help you through a bad day.<br />
<br />
I feel much better today, and so thought about how I felt yesterday, and how
I handled it. I felt sorry for myself, felt like my life was so unfair compared
to that of my fellow University peers. I didn't see the point of being at
University so far away from home. Now, with a clearer mind, I can see that I
was of course overreacting. In fact, what I am learning through these bad days
is a valuable life lesson. I am learning to take care of myself, to be by
myself. By this, I don't mean that I am preparing myself for a life of always
being alone, because I do not have that intention. What I mean is, I am
learning to fend for myself, to cater to my emotions myself. I am also learning
to trust the right people to talk to when I have a bad day. You need to find
friends that you trust to talk to, that make you feel a bit better. For me,
these friends are like a family away from home, they mean a lot to me. Without
them, I really would be completely alone.<br />
<br />
I know that not only TCK's go through this homesickness at University (or at
any point in life, for that matter). Many people suffer from homesickness, the
difference is, what one can do about it. Like I said, there is no possibility
for me to go home right now, and so I have to suck it up and get through it. It
is not fun, but it gets easier, and I know that it is preparing me to be a
strong person. If you are a fellow TCK going through this, just know that there
are many of us out there. And keep in mind, feeling sorry for yourself and
crying about it is not bad once in a while; just don't let it take over your
life. Because while being a TCK has some downsides like this, there are many
more upsides. <br />
</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-67525933301645803612013-09-29T09:49:00.001-07:002013-09-29T09:49:32.010-07:00The first few weeks.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
When you move to a new place, people assume that it is the first week or two that are the hardest. While this might seem logical, I have found that this if often not the case. Yes, during the first few weeks you miss you friends, your familiar places, but there is also excitement in the air. Excitement for starting a new chapter of your life, discovering a new place, meeting new people. The first few weeks in a new place you are in a sort of haze; everything is happening so quickly. For me, the hardest weeks were always the weeks after the first few, the weeks when you were starting to feel a little bit settled in. This is because once you start to get to know a new place, you start to miss specific things about the place you used to live.<br />
<br />
At the start of your move, you miss the big things; your old friends, your old school, your old home. The longing hurts, but unfortunately, it will get even worse before it gets better. After a few weeks you start to miss the little things; your friends warm hug, your comfort food from the supermarket around the corner, your amazing English teacher to help you with your essay. These little things accumulate to one big thing; you want to go back. You want to go back to what you knew, to what felt so right. At this point in the move, for me at least, I was always a emotional wreck. Crying into my pillow at night, blaming everything on my parents because they "made" me move. And then, after a few weeks of this, it always became better.<br />
<br />
It becomes better once you see the good things about the new place you live in. Seeing the good things takes a while, but once you see them, you start to appreciate them. You find a new group of great friends, you find out that your new Maths teacher is super helpful, and you find new places to buy your comfort food. So what do I want to see with this post? It does get better. Are you going through the first stages of a new move right now? If so, just know that it's alright to feel sad, to miss your old place, but also try to see the good things. Explore your new home, keep busy, so that you spend less time thinking about the things that you miss. Soon, I promise, the place which now still seems foreign to you, will become your new home. </div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-49365742571042826172013-08-29T09:23:00.000-07:002013-08-29T09:24:24.685-07:00TCA<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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As you might know, this blog is about TCK's (Third Culture Kids), but for
this post, I will be talking about TCA's (Third Culture Adults). Recently, I
turned 19. So technically, I am no longer a child, so does that mean I am now a
TCA? I have not really heard the term before, but for me, a TCA is a TCK that
has grown up. They are different then adults that move abroad (usually referred
to as expats), because we have grown up with a third culture.<br />
<br />
A TCA will always have a TCK inside them; just as every adult has a inner
child. Even if we someday do return to our home countries, and lead a normal
(not moving all the time) life, we will still be a bit different then most. We
will have experienced being a part of a different culture, seen places others
have not been, gone through the range of emotions that come with every move. It
shapes us to be the adults we become, and thus, we become TCA's.<br />
<br />
Personally, I think that as a TCA, I will never really lead a typical
"normal" life. I don't see myself living in one place for a long
time, but rather moving every few years. This is because I grew up this way; it
is what I know best. I suppose this is another difference between TCA's and
expats. For TCA's, moving abroad and moving around has always been the norm,
while for expats (in my experience), moving abroad is a big step into the
unknown. We share one thing though; the amazing experience that comes with
living abroad.</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-8635001480866296862013-08-16T09:00:00.000-07:002013-08-16T09:00:08.719-07:00Going home?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Right now, I am at the airport, going home!
Going to a place I have never actually been to, and won’t be for very long, but
still, I am going home. I have talked previously about the term “home”, and how
for TCK’s, it often has a different meaning then for others. For me, home is
where my family is, where my “things” are, the place I go to feel at home. I
must say though, this situation is a first. In the past, I have moved places together
with my family, so then; we were going to our “new home”. This was because none
of us lived there yet, our "things" were not there yet, and our house had not
been lived in yet. Now, I am going somewhere where there is a room with my bed,
my books, my “things”. Where, we I walk around, there are the things that make
a house a home. Pictures of us, tokens from our travels, our furniture.
Somewhere that my family has lived for a bit, and so they call it their home.
To put it in a very cheesy way; their home is my home. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Yes, it will be different this time. I am
only staying for a little while since I have to go back to university. I am not
going to school there, not looking for a job there, I am not completely settling
myself there. I am going there to explore this new place which I call “home”,
to see what it is like. To understand it’s culture, it’s people, it’s customs
and norms. So that when someone asks me; “Where is home? What is it like?” I
can answer with confidence. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I find it hard to explain, my strange view
on what I call “home”. Maybe some people reading this will think it’s crazy
that I am calling this destination my “home”, when I have not even been there
yet, when I am not going to stay long. Hopefully I am not the only one who
struggles with this, maybe fellow TCK’s can relate. What I do know for sure
though is that right now, I am waiting to board a plane that will take me to my
new home, and I'm excited! </span></div>
</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-31022252192227150732013-08-11T01:06:00.004-07:002013-08-11T10:22:42.241-07:00Lucky.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US">I have been in the Netherlands for a few
weeks now, visiting family and friends, as we do every year. There is one
phrase that I hear every year; “you are so lucky”. This is the response to our
stories about travelling, living abroad, our experiences. I couldn’t agree
more, because I am very lucky. Lucky to be given the opportunity to live abroad
and experience different cultures, to grow up in a unique environment, to be
able to travel, to study abroad. I do feel like I should point out one thing though;
with the lifestyle comes hardships. I often feel like I cannot talk about this
with family and friends here, because it would make me seem ungrateful. But
this is not the case. I am so grateful for everything that I have, but
sometimes, I wish it were different. When I have to say goodbye to my parents
and brother for a few months, because I am studying in a country half way
across the world to where they are living, I do not feel “lucky”. When I have
to say goodbye to people who I love because I am moving, I do not feel “lucky”.
When I feel shut out because I do not understand a culture and it’s norms, I do
not feel “lucky”. </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US">Even writing this, I feel like I shouldn’t
post it. I am afraid that I will come across as “that spoiled girl that has a
amazing life but whines about it”. At the same time though, I feel like I
should be able to say these things, because everyone has points in their life
when they wish they had it different. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US">As a TCK, you put on a brave face a lot. I
put on a brave face for my grandparents when I tell them that I love university
and that everything is great, but leave out the part that I cry myself to sleep
sometimes because I have not seen my parents and brother for a few months. I
put on a brave face for friends when I say that I don’t mind that they all go
home in the weekend, when I really wish I could do the same. The only people I
don’t put a brave face on for are my parents, my brothers, and my TCK friends,
because they know what it feels like. So we whine together, we feel sorry for
each other, for ourselves, and sometimes we cry together. It’s like a therapy
session, and at the end of it, I come out of it, and sometimes, I even feel
lucky.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US">To end off this post, let me just reiterate
again that I know that I am lucky, that I am completely aware of it. I know I
have opportunities that others don’t, that I have seen things in the world that
others have not, that I have experiences that some can only dream of. But that
sometimes, “lucky” is not the right word for our situation. Because with all
those great things, come hardships. So if you meet a TCK, maybe don’t
constantly remind them that they are lucky. Let them know that they don’t have
to put on a brave face for you, because only then will you really get to know a
TCK. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">*After a few weeks of not posting, I am back again full speed, so come back soon to check out a new post! </span></span></span></div>
</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-5187497104999303492013-07-12T02:21:00.000-07:002013-07-12T02:24:13.830-07:00Family. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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</style><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
recently did an <span style="color: red;"><b><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://movingabroadwithchildren.com/whats-the-best-age-to-move-your-children-abroad/" target="_blank">interview</a></span></b> </span>with “Moving Abroad with Children”
and was asked the question; do you think families that move abroad are close?
If you watch the interview, you’ll see that my simple answer was; yes, we are.
But I thought I would talk about it a little bit more, because I think it is
something that TCK’s can relate with. </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For
a TCK, your immediate family is usually the only consistent thing throughout
your life. You move around, go to numerous school, change friends groups, live
in different cultures, but your family is always there with you. No matter
where we were, my mom was always there to talk to, my dad always ready to help
out. My brother was always there to annoy me, whether I liked it or not. </span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
go through the hardships together. The tears of leaving yet another home, the
nervousness of a first day at a new school. These are things that bring you
close to people; showing your vulnerable side. Moreover, they understand the
hardships you experience with every move, and so everyone can help one another.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is a general observation I have made; that TCK
families are closer then regular families. Of course, I only have a few
families to model this theory on, and I am in no way saying that
"normal" families (aka: families that do not move around every few
years) are not close. It just seems to me that the hard times bring a family closer.
That is what I see with my family, and I suppose in some way I am grateful for
the hard times and the tears, because it means that my support system during
those times gets stronger and stronger. </span></div>
</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-53036282246816002712013-06-16T05:53:00.000-07:002013-07-12T02:21:21.277-07:00Moving out.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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As a TCK, you move many times; however, this year I have only really come to
realize how hard it is. Past moves I was in the background. I would help pack
my room a bit and help my mom sort out our things, but moving companies did the
real work. Moreover, I never really understood what was so stressful about it.
My parents were always stressed at moving time, when my brother and I would
lounge around and really not see the big deal. This year though, I have had to
move out all by myself. Yes, it is only moving out of my student room, but
still, I managed to cram a lot of stuff in there. With me travelling around
this summer, I had to find somewhere to leave my things for the 3 months of
summer break. <br />
<br />
A definite upside to being a TCK is that you learn to dispose of clutter.
With every move, you have to go through all your things and dispose of anything
that you don't think you will need. Like this year, I donated numerous clothing
items, got rid of old notebooks and magazines, and just generally de-cluttered
my life. As a TCK, you do this every few years, with each move. You learn to
keep only the necessary things and the things that mean a lot to you. It is
definitely a good lesson to learn when you are young, and a trait that I have
seen with many fellow TCK's. <br />
<br />
The stress comes mainly, I think, from not knowing exactly where you stuff
will be, and if it will return in the same condition. You leave your things
somewhere or with someone for a few months, and when you come back, you hope
that everything is all right. For my fellow first years, the moving out process
was fairly easy. Parents would come up for the day with their car, put the back
seats down, and pile everything into the car. It would then be driven home and
be driven back in September. For me, there was a little bit more planning. I am
leaving my things with several friends, each coming to pick up things on different
days. Don't get me wrong; I am so grateful for these friends and the fact that
they are willing to take my things. It just made me realize the extra stress
that being a TCK comes with. Let's just say, I will be happy to see all my
things again after 3 months of living out of one suitcase!<br />
<br />
As I am growing up, I see certain aspects of my childhood differently.
Moving is one of those. As I said, I have come to realise how stressful it is,
and how much work my parents put in to every move. I definitely did observe a
lot when I was younger though, and I found that I was rather effective at
moving out. I guess that is a skill a TCK can put on their CV; good at moving!</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-67068077012473614752013-06-11T14:24:00.000-07:002013-06-11T14:24:26.144-07:00That time of year again. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It is the time of year again when you say goodbye. From my experience, two
weeks before school breaks for summer, there is a wave of parties and events
all to do with people leaving. Whether you are leaving yourself or if friends
are leaving, this time of year is always bitter sweet. While the events and
parties are fun, you know that you are saying goodbye to people you care about.
You might never see them again. The expat community is accustomed to this time
of year. School is focused on it; from big end of year assemblies to handing
out "leavers t-shirts" for people to write their goodbye messages on.
The people leaving change, but the routine of this time of year stays mostly
the same. <br />
<br />
Whenever it was our own last two weeks, there was always a change in the
air. It was a rush to do things for the last time, a rush to get keepsakes of
our home. We would have to eat at that one restaurant for the last time, get
ice cream at our favourite place once more, and visit that one special place
for the last time. We would have to buy things that reminded us of this home; a
antique nightstand from Shanghai, a “I <3 Beijing” shirt, a red lantern from
Hanoi. It was as if all of a sudden, the few years we had lived there were not
enough. We would want more time; more time to explore the country, to get to
know the people. At the same time, there was excitement in the air. We would
want to know more about the new place we were moving to, what the school would
be like, where we would live. To sum up in one word, this time of year is
hectic.<br />
<br />
It is closing another chapter, and moving on. This might seem a bit harsh,
but after a while, you get used to it. You know that in a few years time, it
will be your last two weeks again. It is never easy, but it becomes more
bearable over time. You learn to accept that you will lose touch with some
people, and that some others you will see again soon. You know that if you are
leaving, you are leaving a place that was your home for a few years. You also
know that you will be moving to a place that you will soon call home again. <br />
<br />
For the first time in a long time this time of year is different for me. Yes,
everyone is leaving and going home, but everyone is coming back in a couple of
months. There is no one moving to another country, no farewell parties. There
are no tears of sadness. I suppose this is normal, but it is not normal for me.
Through Skype I am living along with my family, who are experiencing their last
two weeks and moving. It is not easy, but it is a part of being a TCK. You just
have to remember; you are on a journey of discovery, and this time of year is
part of that. <br />
</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-67078585814991810862013-06-06T13:10:00.000-07:002013-06-06T13:10:11.230-07:00When in Rome, do as the Romans do, Pt 4.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It is time for the final part of my series; "When in Rome, do as the
Romans do”, and this post will be about where I live now, in the United Kingdom
(more specifically, in Wales). I have lived here for less than a year, so I am
still in the process of becoming part of the culture, but I think that I have
integrated enough to write a post about it. I had to become Welsh fast, as I
was thrown right into the community. Moving alone to go to University is very
different then moving with your family to a new country. Beside the hard aspect
of being by myself, I was also in no way a part of an expat community. I was
just a normal University student, along with the thousands of new freshman.
While this new normalcy was refreshing, it was also slightly daunting. <br />
<br />
My key connection with the local culture was my friends. I did make some
international friends, but my closest friends are all from around here. While
they do make fun of my accent and misunderstanding of certain local customs,
they are a great group of friends. Through them, I have come to understand more
aspects of the culture I am currently living in. This happens through simple
things, such as teaching me slang and correcting certain expressions. For
example, to me, chips are crispy potato chips, but here they refer to those as
crisps. What I call fries is what they call chips. This might seem silly, but
when I first arrived, people would look at me weird when I ordered fries at a
restaurant, and I would automatically be seen as someone not from around here.
Little things like this build up to develop us into someone who fits into a new
culture.<br />
<br />
Personally, I love spending the day outside in the fresh air. So when I saw
that my University has a hiking club, I automatically joined. I now go for
hikes around Wales whenever I can, and I love it. I have met some great
like-minded people through the club, seen the amazing scenery of Wales, and
most importantly, felt more at home in Wales. I believe that when you explore a
country, you come to understand what a culture is based on, where customs and
habits originate from. Our hikes usually pass through small villages, and if we
feel up for it, we will go to the local pub for a drink. The pubs are always
filled with locals, always up for a chat. Elderly men that will gladly tell you
the story of their lives, about what it was like to grow up on a small town
farm. I have some amazing memories from these hikes, and hope to gain more over
the years, and they are a big part of why I feel like I am becoming part of the
Welsh culture. This is because I took initiative to learn about the place and
it's culture.<br />
<br />
While I am not at a point yet where I feel like a local, I am getting there.
What I have learnt by moving to Wales is that in order to become part of a culture,
you need to want to understand it. Take part in activities that will bring you
closer to the culture. Also, let people teach you about their culture. Let them
correct your accent, your way of saying things, because it will make you
understand the culture more. The phrase really is true: "When in Rome, do
as the Romans do", because when you act as a local, with work, you will
come closer to being one. Embrace your new culture, because who knows how long
you will stay a part of it. <br />
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Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-68769394554902325262013-06-01T07:28:00.000-07:002013-06-01T07:28:09.981-07:00When in Rome, do as the Romans do, Pt 3.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It is time for part 3 of the series; "When in Rome, do as the Romans
do", and this post will be about <b>Hanoi, Vietnam</b>. My move from
Beijing to Hanoi was hard. I really did not want to leave Beijing; I had great
friends, went to a good school with good teachers, and I generally loved living
there. I thus moved to Hanoi with a negative mind-set. I knew that I was only
going to live there for 2 years and so just told myself that I would get though
the last two years of High School, focus on school, and leave as soon as I
could. Looking back, I regret this mind-set hugely. It meant that I did not
take some opportunities that could have opened me up to the Vietnamese culture
more. Fortunately, Vietnamese expat life was very different from expat life in
China, different in a way that automatically put me in touch with the culture.<br />
<br />
Up till this point, I was used to living in compounds. In Hanoi however,
compounds were not as common for expats to live in. Instead we lived in a house
in a Vietnamese neighbourhood where a mix of locals and expats lived. We had
Vietnamese neighbours, the communal volleyball field was in front of our house,
and the local (and loud) karaoke bar was right behind our house. It was an
adjustment, but an adjustment for the better. It allowed me to see how the
locals went about their daily routines, and it meant for easier interaction
with them. The local grocery store was owned by the sweetest lady. We always
had a little chat at the checkout, she always asked after how the family was
doing. Our neighbour had an adorable young son that would always be running
around near our house, always happy to see everyone. It was these little aspect
of living in this neighbourhood that allowed me to feel connected to the
Vietnamese culture. I might not have had the choice to live anywhere else but
there, but if I would get the choice now, I would choose it again in a
heartbeat.<br />
<br />
For my High School diploma, I had to do community and service. While this
started of as something that I had to do, it developed into something that I
loved to do. I was part of an organization that provided funding and materials
for a local school for mentally disabled children. The school was in need of
financial help, as well as materials to help support the children's education.
Besides helping with fundraising activities, we also visited the school several
times. It was an hour by bus through rural villages before we reached the
school. The children were always excited to see us, and their genuine happiness
always brought a smile to my face. We would play games with them, draw pictures
with them, and have a fun basic English lesson. Despite the language barrier, I
felt a connection with the school, it's pupils, and it's teachers. It is when
you see different aspects of a culture that you truly understand the culture.
While I might have just helped a minimal amount, I am so grateful that they
opened my eyes to their wonderful culture.<br />
<br />
What I took away from living in Vietnam was that to become part of the
culture, you have to truly take part. I did this through living in a Vietnamese
neighbourhood, as well as helping out a local school. One tip; do not move to a
place with the same mind-set as I did. While in the end, I loved Hanoi and I
felt truly connected to it's culture, I think that if I had moved with a more
positive mind-set, this connection would have been even stronger. <br />
<br />
Stay tuned for the last part of this series, which will be about where I live
now; the United Kingdom!<br />
</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-53187813673054451502013-05-25T14:40:00.001-07:002013-05-25T14:40:45.562-07:00When in Rome, do as the Romans do, Pt 2.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It is time for part 2 of my "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"
series, and this post will focus on <b>Beijing</b>. At the end of 7th grade, I
moved from Shanghai to Beijing. As I talked about in my previous post, I learnt
Chinese in Shanghai and was introduced to the Chinese culture. My first year in
Beijing I actually did not do Chinese. This was because my school offered the
option of doing Dutch as a language in school, and so I did that instead of
Chinese. After a year though, we realized that this was not the best thing for
me, and I went back to doing Chinese. I think the main difference between
Shanghai and Beijing for me was my maturity. What I mean by this is that in
Shanghai, I explored the city and the culture through my parents. They would
take trips to places, and I would follow. In Beijing, I was at the age where I
was allowed to do things on my own with my friends, and it allowed me to see
the culture in a different light.<br />
<br />
I had a great group of friends in Beijing, and two of them had lived in
Beijing for most of their lives. This meant that they knew the city well, and
so they took me to places I would not have gone to alone. Our favourite outing
was going to a local mall, getting bubble tea, and singing out hearts out at
the karaoke bar. It might sound silly, but doing the same things that local
teenagers were doing made me feel like I was more than just an expat; I felt
like I belonged there. Yes, I still stood out with my blond hair, blue eyes,
and height, but I did not feel like I was the odd one out anymore.<br />
<br />
I think a major aspect that played a part in me feeling so at home in
Beijing was understanding the culture. In Shanghai we went to visit lots of
places, emerged ourselves in the culture, but I think that due to my age, I
never really fully understood. In Beijing, I started to understand the culture
on a different level. The cultural norms, practices, and expectations intrigued
me, and I found it vital to uphold them. I thank this largely to one of my
friends, who was Chinese and had lived in Beijing most of her life. I spent a
lot of time with her, and through her, I came to understand the Chinese
culture. In particular, Chinese families. I understood that in China, elders
are very important and demand respect. Parents are usually tough on their
children on an academic front, and they do not show their emotions for each
other in the same way that I was used to. I understood that it was different,
not better or worse then what I was used to, just different.<br />
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To sum up, I became part of the culture in Beijing through truly
understanding the culture. This was because of my maturity level, and because
of a great group of friends. I had the best time living in Beijing, and to this
day, I still think it was my favourite place to live. That is because I felt
truly at home in Beijing; I did not feel like an outsider. <br />
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Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-62865405656294970072013-05-19T10:04:00.001-07:002013-05-19T10:04:21.322-07:00When in Rome, do as the Romans do, Pt 1. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Being a TCK, I have had to adapt to many different places. My parents always
believed that when you move to a new place, you have to become part of that
culture. So, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. I'm starting a mini series on
this topic, talking about how I tried to integrate into the different cultures
that I lived in. There will be four parts: Shanghai, Beijing, Vietnam, and the
United Kingdom. This is part 1, so I'm going to be talking about adapting to
living in<b> Shanghai</b>.<br />
<br />
My move from the Netherlands to Shanghai was probably the most shocking
move, as the two cultures were so different. I was 7 at the time, and being an
expat in China was not as common as it is nowadays. I had blonde hair and blue
eyes, so I was an attraction to most locals. I'm not going to lie; I hated my
first few months in Shanghai. I was still learning how to speak English, I was
suffering from severe culture shock, and I felt very out of place. My mom was
having a tough time adjusting as well, but she decided that we would explore
the neighbourhood and the culture, so we would feel more at home. Besides
visiting the obvious tourist attractions, our weekends were spent exploring
Shanghai's more hidden spots. Like many of the locals, we got to places by bike
as much as we could. My parents tended to do groceries at the non-expat
supermarkets. We would make sure eat Chinese food at least 3 times a week.
These are all little things, but they go a long way. Step by step, I started to
feel more at home in Shanghai, and while I still looked like the odd one out, I
started to feel more and more like a local.<br />
<br />
A big part of integrating into a culture is, I believe, the language.
Language is tied into so many aspects of a culture, I would advice you try and
pick it up. After 2 months of only learning English at school, my parents
decided to also have me learn Chinese. I was learning English and Chinese simultaneously,
and while it was hard, it was definitely worth it. Still being young I picked
up the language fast, and after a few months, I was able to hold simple
conversation. This helped me out a lot, because the locals take you more
seriously when you speak their language. It shows a level of commitment to the
place and the culture, and this is respected. <br />
<br />
I ended up living in Shanghai for a little more than 5 years, and over those
years, I truly felt like I was part of the culture. Some of the things I mentioned
in this point might be very specific, but the main idea I want you to take away
is to try your utmost best to integrate into the culture. You can do this
through language, food, mode of transportation, however you feel comfortable.
The worst thing you can do is shut yourself out, because that means not
allowing your new living place to become your home.<br />
<br />
Come back in a few days for part 2: Beijing!<br />
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Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-14624460149717629942013-05-14T13:49:00.000-07:002013-05-14T13:49:02.958-07:00Where are you from?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The question every TCK dreads: "Where are you from?". It's not
that we don't like the answer to that question, it's just that for most, the
answer is long and complicated. The answer starts of simple: "I'm
Dutch". My accent throws them off though, and they'll ask more questions:
"Why do you have an American accent?", "Are your parents
American?", "Have you always lived in the UK?". At this point I
ready myself for a long story, because the answers to those questions involve
multiple countries, schools, 'homes', and experiences.<br />
<br />
I have to say, I enjoy watching how people react when I tell them about
being a TCK. Everything is normal until I tell them I lived in China for almost
8 years, upon which people will usually do a double take and respond with:
"CHINA? Why China?". I tell them about my Dad's work, about how I
picked up a American accent in International Schools, about how I speak
Chinese, about how my parents still live in Vietnam so I don't get to see them
very often. All of a sudden, the simple questions of "Where are you
from?" turns into a complicated, personal tale of my life. Don't get me wrong;
I don't mind answering the question. I understand that people find my life
intriguing, and I know that for most, they don't often meet a TCK. It is just
that on some occasions, I wish the answer were easier. For example, on a night
out, I would rather have fun and dance with my friends then tell a stranger a 10-minute
story about where I have lived. So in those situations, I do sometimes opt for:
"Yes, I am American". That answer fits with my accent and people will
accept it and walk away. I'm not happy to lie, but sometimes I prefer at 10-second
conversations opposed to a 10-minute one!<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-73586976977956576962013-05-10T13:19:00.002-07:002013-05-11T07:07:51.059-07:00Arrivals.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A few days ago, I has some time to waste at Schiphol Airport. Not knowing what to do, I decided I would sit and watch the arrivals. This might sounds strange, but it reminded me of the Dutch show: "Hello Goodbye". In this show, the presenter interviews people at the arrivals bay, asking them who they are waiting for. This mostly bring up complicated histories and astonishing stories, and I always loved to watch it. So I took a seat near the arrivals bay at Schiphol airport and observed. There were people with banners and balloons, all for the people arriving. The excitement on peoples faces when they saw their loved one was heartwarming. It got me thinking though; have I ever experienced this?<br />
<br />
As a TCK, you travel a lot. Sometime this is to foreign places, but sometimes this is also to return to your home country. For me, we went back to the Netherlands once a year, during summer. I vaguely remember the first time arriving back in the Netherlands after having moved abroad. Our whole family was waiting for us, some of them cried. They were ecstatic to see us, my uncle even brought me and my brother a present. This reaction to our arrival back in the Netherlands grew less and less grand over the years. The past few years there has not been anyone waiting for us at the arrivals bay at the airport. My grandfather does usually pick us up from the train station with my grandmother, with smiles on their faces. It is not that they are not happy that we are back for the summer, but it has become normality now. I think this is something most TCK's experience; the novelty of returning to your home country wears off for both ourselves and our family.<br />
<br />
I am not going to lie, I did feel a pang of jealously watching the Schiphol arrivals bay. While I in no way blame my family for not coming to greet us as they used to, it would make arriving in the Netherlands a little bit nicer. I completely understand why it is no longer as big of a deal as it used to be, yet I wish it could be equally special every year. There comes a time when your family accepts that you are now a TCK, and they might treat you slightly different. Not in a negative way, just differently. </div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-586372413142629202013-04-29T13:03:00.000-07:002013-04-29T13:03:43.372-07:00Visiting: being visited.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Many of my TCK memories involve people visiting us where we lived. Grandparents, aunts, cousins, family friends, they've all come. For them it was a easy and cheaper holiday; going somewhere far away and exotic with free accommodation and a free tour guide. The place I called home was a holiday destination for them, a place they had always dreamed of visiting. We always had a good time; my parents pulled out all the stops to show their friends and family the best time. We would go out to eat more often, go to all the fun places, and sometimes even have trips away to nearby destinations. As I got older though, I sometimes found it overwhelming. All of a sudden, there would be a few more people in the house, and my daily routine would be completely disrupted. I love my family and our friends dearly, but when you're put in close quarters for three weeks at a time, it can get a bit much. My family always tended to fall out when we had visitors. My mom would feel like everything needed to be perfect, which meant that my brother and I would act out more just to annoy her. It always had a strain on the family, although we never showed our visitors that. <br />
<br />
There was always a common trend with visitors; they always came towards the end of our stay. As soon as we said "we're moving next year", the visitors would start coming. They would suddenly realize that their opportunity to go on a cheap holiday was slipping away, and they would all try to come at the same time. By this time, my family would be planning the move to a new place. Visitors and moving do not tend to mix well. As a example, I'll take you back to when I was in 10th grade. At the end of 10th grade, we were moving from Beijing to Hanoi. I was finishing up my MYP program, so I was very busy with school work, and on top of that I was leaving behind the closest friend group that I'd ever had. During our last month there, my cousin, aunt, and grandmother came to visit. Personally struggling with leaving while feeling like I had to put on a happy face for them was really hard. I love them all dearly, but the timing was the worst.<br />
<br />
I suppose the point that I'm trying to get across is that while being visited is routine when being a TCK, it's not always easy. I realize that this post points out more negative then positive things about being visited. Don't get me wrong, I have had amazing memories of family and friends coming to visit. It's just that I wanted to point out that being visited is not always easy.<br />
<br />
In a few days I'm leaving to the Netherlands for a few days. So, I'll be the one visiting! I'll write a blog post on that side of it, for a little bit of balance. So keep a look out!</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-14984919218433786752013-04-26T10:39:00.000-07:002013-04-26T10:39:47.031-07:00Homey.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Recently my friend told me that she thought my room looked so homey, and that she wished she could have done the same with her room. I looked at my room and realized it looked like what all my rooms have looked like. Lots of pictures on the wall and memorabilia from countless countries scattered around the room. Having had lots of bedrooms over the years, I've learned how to make a room look homey fast. Your room should be somewhere you feel safe, and even if you know you'll only stay there for a year or two, you should decorate it as if you're staying a little longer than that. I think most TCK's can agree that you don't always feel home is certain countries, but your room is like your safe haven.<br />
<br />
The room I am in now is student accomodation, and when I moved in, I knew I would only stay here for a year. And yet, I made sure I love my room. I have a red latern that I bought in Hoi An to remind me of where my family is. On my doorknob hang two plush Chinese fish to always remind me of my childhood on my way out the door. I have a string of small Buddhist prayer flags as well as a wooden Buddha to keep me safe here in my new home, as they have always done. I have a poster of Ganesha to remind me of my vacation to India, and how beautiful it was. On my bookshelf stands a little replica of the Golden Rock in Myanmar and next to that a small lacquer ware offering vessel to remind me of the beauty of Asia. I could go on listing the little items I have to remind me of my TCK childhood that are spread around my room. Every time I look up from my work I'll see something and it'll bring back a memory, putting a smile on my face.<br />
<br />
<br />
The pictures that cover my walls is like a timeline of my life. Different friends from different countries, holiday photographs, and a bunch of family pictures. They remind me that I'm not alone, that I have friends and family out there. As a TCK, it's hard to remind yourself that although you might not have your family right next door, that doesn't mean they're not there for you. When I'm in a bad place, the pictures remind me of them and that, even though they are thousands of kilometers away, I have family and friends that care about me. My homey room is a constant reminder of the different life that I lead, and how appreciative I have to be off it.</div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-37862393175309794142013-04-19T04:26:00.002-07:002013-04-19T04:27:19.569-07:00Uncertainty.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Being a expat always has a element of uncertainty to it. Growing up as a TCK, I experienced this uncertainty and how it affects us. I'm writing this post because my family is currently going through some major uncertainty regarding their expat life. As you may recall, I wrote a blog post about my family moving to Bangkok. They were really happy about it, until the plans fell through a few days ago. There were problems with living in Thailand, and all of a sudden, they don't know where they're going to be living in a few months time. If you are a fellow expat, I'm sure you can relate. Whether it is uncertainty regarding where your children will go to school next year or if you can get the correct living permit for your new destination, none of it is pleasant. Just think, it's all preparation for living in a new place, a new adventure. The uncertainty will be worth it in the long run. <br />
<br />
Personally, I have experienced a fair bit of uncertainty as a TCK. Most prominently, the uncertainty of how long I will be a TCK. Originally, my father's contract was to work for three years in China and then to move back to the Netherlands. That was more then 10 years ago, and here I am, still living a expat life. Then there are the uncertainties a TCK experiences with every new move. Will I find friends at my new school? Will I get into the school soccer team? Will I keep in touch with my old friends? Will my new home city be just as exciting as my current one? Getting closer to the move means more and more uncertainties popping up in your mind. Personally I believe that some uncertainty about a new place is good, as it means you plan carefully and are determined to make this new place your home. You should however not let your uncertainties take control, because this can lead to overlooking the little things, like saying goodbye to the place you are leaving. My advice? Don't let the future overshadow the present. I think that growing up as a TCK has made me live more in the present rather then always plan for the future, because the future can change so suddenly when you are a expat. </div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-32539676973462061662013-04-14T13:23:00.000-07:002013-04-14T13:23:29.108-07:00Loneliness.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We all feel lonely sometimes, but as a TCK, we experience a fair amount of it. We experience it when we walk into a new school, move to a new neighborhood, have left our friends behind, and feel further away from that place we used to call "home". I am feeling it right now. I have just gotten back from being home for three weeks, and let me tell you, returning to your empty flat sucks. Lucky for me, I know how to deal with it. It's one of the experiences you gain as a TCK. As I said before, we all feel lonely sometimes, you don't have to be a TCK to feel lonely. So I though I would share a few tips with you on have to deal with it:<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Distract yourself from the loneliness you are feeling. There are countless ways to do this, some of the way I distract myself it by going for a run, doing school work, or just watching a movie (a happy movie though, no sad movies that results in you crying, those won't help right now!)</li>
<li>Make a list of things to look forward to. I love doing this when I feel lonely, because it makes me realize that I have things to do and people that want to do it with me! Right now, my list consist of going on vacation with my family for three weeks in the summer, seeing my grandparents in a few weeks, going traveling with a friend, and my exciting summer job. Write your list on a big piece of paper, make it nice and colorful, and hang it up on your wall. It's something you can look at everyday, and just reminding yourself of these things will put a smile on your face!</li>
<li>Surround yourself with people! Sitting alone in your room really won't help the situation. If you are in a new school, join a sports team or a society to meet people. If you're just feeling lonely and can't put your finger on exactly why, make plans with a friend to go for lunch. Having someone else with you for a few hours make you realize that you're not alone, and the feeling of loneliness with start to diminish. </li>
<li>Lastly, don't ignore the fact that you are feeling lonely. Sit yourself down and think why exactly you are feeling the way you are. If you know why, it's much easier to figure out how to deal with it. If you feel confident enough, talk to someone about it. Don't feel like you have to keep your loneliness to yourself, this will only add to the feeling. </li>
</ul>
<br />
Just as I talked about in my last post about leaving, the loneliness does not get any easier. You do however learn how to deal with it. I am by no means saying that the above few points are the exact way to tackle feeling lonely. I do however feel that as a TCK, I have a decent amount of experience to talk about loneliness, and how to deal with it. This is just how I cope with it, what about you?<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4077582125776709572.post-2919675145804900802013-04-11T07:27:00.001-07:002013-04-11T07:27:11.496-07:00Saying goodbye.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As a TCK, you say goodbye a lot. You say goodbye to friends, family, places, schools. And yet, each time it's hard. For me, saying goodbye does not get any easier. Sure, you get used to the process of it, but it does not make it easier. After being home for three weeks, I am leaving tomorrow to go back to Cardiff. It'll be two months before I see them again. It's not as long as it has been before, but still, it's long for me. That's two months of not getting a hug from my mom when I need it, wrestling with my brother when we both need a energy outlet, or watching a movie with my dad. It's the little things that I miss each time. As a TCK, I have developed a sort of shield against it all, the saying goodbye. I don't really show people my sorrow anymore, I just cry myself to sleep at night. I know that might sound a bit depressing, but it works for me. I have had to say goodbye so often, that if each time I were to let it get to me to a full extent, it would take up too much time. So I try look at the positives. It's only two months, two months will go fast. I'll Skype with them daily. They're always there for me if I need them. I know all these things, and yet, I'm crying as I write this.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry if this was a bit of a sad post, but I do want to be honest on this blog. While being a TCK has opened so many doors for me, made me into a better person, but it's not all easy. Saying goodbye is one of the negatives. Unfortunately, if you want to see the world, you have to leave people and places behind. It's certainly not easy, but if they're the right people, it won't affect the relationship you have with them. </div>
Eline Jeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10180570329281237572noreply@blogger.com0