I have talked before about how a downside of being a TCK is being away for family events in your home country. This blog post deals with this issue, but with a more serious example.
My grandmother was admitted to hospital over 5 weeks ago, and just got to go back home. During the 5 weeks, I was not able to visit her in the hospital, I was not able to comfort her in the way I wish I could have. I called her, and we got reports on her health from family members.
My mother went on a short weekend trip to The Netherlands, after my grandmother had been in the hospital for more than 2 weeks. It was a 12 hour flight there, and 2 days later, a 12 hour flight back to Singapore. It was however exactly what was needed; for both my grandmother and my mother. For my grandmother is was the emotional support she needed, and for my mother it was able to show that no matter how far away she lives, family always comes first.
It saddened me when I heard that my cousins saw my grandmother in the hospital on a regular basis; they had coffee with her, made small talk, made her feel comfortable. While I would have loved to visit my grandmother in the hospital, it was not feasible on my part. Of course, if the medical situation would have worsened to a critical point, I would have jumped on the first plane to Amsterdam. Luckily, it did not get to this point, but it is nice to know that I have to opportunity to do so.
One of the things you give up as a expat/TCK is being close to family. It will be harder to lend a helping hand when they need you, harder to comfort them when they are going through a rough time. Luckily, there are ways to get around these difficulties. You can have long Skype chats to lend emotional support; you might not be able to give them a hug, but you can still be there for them. And if you really need to be there in person, there are airplanes. So don't lose hope, because for every problem there is a solution; the solution might just be a bit more complicated for a TCK.
My grandmother was admitted to hospital over 5 weeks ago, and just got to go back home. During the 5 weeks, I was not able to visit her in the hospital, I was not able to comfort her in the way I wish I could have. I called her, and we got reports on her health from family members.
My mother went on a short weekend trip to The Netherlands, after my grandmother had been in the hospital for more than 2 weeks. It was a 12 hour flight there, and 2 days later, a 12 hour flight back to Singapore. It was however exactly what was needed; for both my grandmother and my mother. For my grandmother is was the emotional support she needed, and for my mother it was able to show that no matter how far away she lives, family always comes first.
It saddened me when I heard that my cousins saw my grandmother in the hospital on a regular basis; they had coffee with her, made small talk, made her feel comfortable. While I would have loved to visit my grandmother in the hospital, it was not feasible on my part. Of course, if the medical situation would have worsened to a critical point, I would have jumped on the first plane to Amsterdam. Luckily, it did not get to this point, but it is nice to know that I have to opportunity to do so.
One of the things you give up as a expat/TCK is being close to family. It will be harder to lend a helping hand when they need you, harder to comfort them when they are going through a rough time. Luckily, there are ways to get around these difficulties. You can have long Skype chats to lend emotional support; you might not be able to give them a hug, but you can still be there for them. And if you really need to be there in person, there are airplanes. So don't lose hope, because for every problem there is a solution; the solution might just be a bit more complicated for a TCK.
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