Lucky.

I have been in the Netherlands for a few weeks now, visiting family and friends, as we do every year. There is one phrase that I hear every year; “you are so lucky”. This is the response to our stories about travelling, living abroad, our experiences. I couldn’t agree more, because I am very lucky. Lucky to be given the opportunity to live abroad and experience different cultures, to grow up in a unique environment, to be able to travel, to study abroad. I do feel like I should point out one thing though; with the lifestyle comes hardships. I often feel like I cannot talk about this with family and friends here, because it would make me seem ungrateful. But this is not the case. I am so grateful for everything that I have, but sometimes, I wish it were different. When I have to say goodbye to my parents and brother for a few months, because I am studying in a country half way across the world to where they are living, I do not feel “lucky”. When I have to say goodbye to people who I love because I am moving, I do not feel “lucky”. When I feel shut out because I do not understand a culture and it’s norms, I do not feel “lucky”.

Even writing this, I feel like I shouldn’t post it. I am afraid that I will come across as “that spoiled girl that has a amazing life but whines about it”. At the same time though, I feel like I should be able to say these things, because everyone has points in their life when they wish they had it different.

As a TCK, you put on a brave face a lot. I put on a brave face for my grandparents when I tell them that I love university and that everything is great, but leave out the part that I cry myself to sleep sometimes because I have not seen my parents and brother for a few months. I put on a brave face for friends when I say that I don’t mind that they all go home in the weekend, when I really wish I could do the same. The only people I don’t put a brave face on for are my parents, my brothers, and my TCK friends, because they know what it feels like. So we whine together, we feel sorry for each other, for ourselves, and sometimes we cry together. It’s like a therapy session, and at the end of it, I come out of it, and sometimes, I even feel lucky.

To end off this post, let me just reiterate again that I know that I am lucky, that I am completely aware of it. I know I have opportunities that others don’t, that I have seen things in the world that others have not, that I have experiences that some can only dream of. But that sometimes, “lucky” is not the right word for our situation. Because with all those great things, come hardships. So if you meet a TCK, maybe don’t constantly remind them that they are lucky. Let them know that they don’t have to put on a brave face for you, because only then will you really get to know a TCK.  

*After a few weeks of not posting, I am back again full speed, so come back soon to check out a new post!